He wrote, I do not know how to live.
I do not know either but I am trying.
I do not know how to try.
There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them and let them hurt me”
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With every tick of the clock hand, people change. Even if they say no but they change anyway. Slowly, gradually; change is overwhelming. Time flows without bridle and the passage of time fills my head with memories of our fleeting youth. And in my head I place two memories of the same person at different points in time and I think to myself, change. That's all life will ever be about, and one day I will accept that it's beyond my reach but maybe that's why people come and go. Some people move on, some people wait for you, and some - you just don't get along with.
I think that prima facie everyone is nice. I was talking to Jonsam over soup and salad on new year's eve and I eventually agreed with him that no one's ever "not nice". Unless you know them well. First impressions, first encounters - who isn't nice? And even on the tenth encounter it doesn't hurt to fake a wide grin or throw back your head laughing, give out some secrets and anecdotes and all of a sudden it makes the other party feel like they know you inside out and all they can ever say about you to everyone is, oh yeah he/she's nice. I think it's pretty easy. I don't think we really know anyone at all unless you spend every day of your life growing up with them.
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M came over today and we watched Shutter Island and 90210 on tv. I'm in a mood of lazing around at home and sleeping - feverish cough, a sore throat, throbbing head.
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