Mirror by Sylvia Plath

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions. 

Whatever I see I swallow immediately

Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike. 

I am not cruel, only truthful -- 

The eye of a little god, four-cornered.

Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall. 

It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long. 

I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers. 

Faces and darkness seperate us over and over. 

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me, 

Searching my reaches for what she really is. 

Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.

I see her back, and reflect it faithfully. 

She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands. 

I am important to her. She comes and goes. 

Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness. 

In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman

Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish. 

This is one of my favourite poems. I think one of the most outstanding emphasis we see here is the flow of time - especially how the woman ages and the physical changes. "and in me an old woman rises toward her day after day". I also perceive this "young girl" to be herself; her youth. Again, the passing of time. "In me she has drowned a young girl". 


It intrigues me how the mirror persona claims to have "no preconceptions", yet it judges the candles and the moon to be liars, maybe because the candles and the moon lie to the woman about her aging (which is something she dreads and refuses to face) But it is still truthful, reflecting reality.

Very very interesting, but I detect depression underneath this. There are many ways to intepret this anyway.

"SADNESS OF LOVE WITHOUT RELEASE" - JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER

“Why are you leaving me? 
He wrote, I do not know how to live. 
I do not know either but I am trying. 
I do not know how to try. 
There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them and let them hurt me” 

---

With every tick of the clock hand, people change. Even if they say no but they change anyway. Slowly, gradually; change is overwhelming. Time flows without bridle and the passage of time fills my head with memories of our fleeting youth. And in my head I place two memories of the same person at different points in time and I think to myself, change. That's all life will ever be about, and one day I will accept that it's beyond my reach but maybe that's why people come and go. Some people move on, some people wait for you, and some - you just don't get along with. 

I think that prima facie everyone is nice. I was talking to Jonsam over soup and salad on new year's eve and I eventually agreed with him that no one's ever "not nice". Unless you know them well.  First impressions, first encounters - who isn't nice? And even on the tenth encounter it doesn't hurt to fake a wide grin or throw back your head laughing, give out some secrets and anecdotes and all of a sudden it makes the other party feel like they know you inside out and all they can ever say about you to everyone is, oh yeah he/she's nice. I think it's pretty easy. I don't think we really know anyone at all unless you spend every day of your life growing up with them. 

---

M came over today and we watched Shutter Island and 90210 on tv. I'm in a mood of lazing around at home and sleeping - feverish cough, a sore throat, throbbing head.  

  

If he were true, if he were sincere, and if he really means what he says, he wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't go behind your back and flirt around. He wouldn't have anything to hide.

And if you feel hurt, it just shows he's not the one. He's not worth your time anymore.

I get really annoyed whenever I hear of guys being complete asses towards girls (especially those who are my own friends).