"SADNESS OF LOVE WITHOUT RELEASE" - JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER

“Why are you leaving me? 
He wrote, I do not know how to live. 
I do not know either but I am trying. 
I do not know how to try. 
There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them and let them hurt me” 

---

With every tick of the clock hand, people change. Even if they say no but they change anyway. Slowly, gradually; change is overwhelming. Time flows without bridle and the passage of time fills my head with memories of our fleeting youth. And in my head I place two memories of the same person at different points in time and I think to myself, change. That's all life will ever be about, and one day I will accept that it's beyond my reach but maybe that's why people come and go. Some people move on, some people wait for you, and some - you just don't get along with. 

I think that prima facie everyone is nice. I was talking to Jonsam over soup and salad on new year's eve and I eventually agreed with him that no one's ever "not nice". Unless you know them well.  First impressions, first encounters - who isn't nice? And even on the tenth encounter it doesn't hurt to fake a wide grin or throw back your head laughing, give out some secrets and anecdotes and all of a sudden it makes the other party feel like they know you inside out and all they can ever say about you to everyone is, oh yeah he/she's nice. I think it's pretty easy. I don't think we really know anyone at all unless you spend every day of your life growing up with them. 

---

M came over today and we watched Shutter Island and 90210 on tv. I'm in a mood of lazing around at home and sleeping - feverish cough, a sore throat, throbbing head.  

  

HELLO 2012

So I am a little late on the whole happy new year thing on this space, but all the same, happy new year! Some last bits of 2011 in pictures:

1, 2, 3: Paris, France.
4, 5, 6, 7: Florence, Italy.

Lucerne, Switzerland

Rome, Italy

Germany

Venice

I WILL UPLOAD LONDON PICTURES ANOTHER DAY. I'm really annoyed at how the alignment is all off. I can't stand looking at non-perfect alignment and I've been at it for the longest time but nothing is happening!

And like everyone else, I have a panoply of new year resolutions too, for 2012.

(1) Read more more more
(2) Keep my dearest friends close
(3) Spend more time with my family
(4) Increase in photographs and writing
(5) Travel more
(6) Keep track of life - make the best out of what I have, live for a purpose, know what I want, and never go off the rails
(7) Be more decisive
(8) Improve on punctuality
(9) Guard my heart

But for now, I'm really attempting to focus on my LNAT and cutting down 449 characters for my personal statement. After which I will choose my BTT date - my BBDC account money has been frozen in there for a month, but well what are you to do when uni and your future supersedes driving.

If he were true, if he were sincere, and if he really means what he says, he wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't go behind your back and flirt around. He wouldn't have anything to hide.

And if you feel hurt, it just shows he's not the one. He's not worth your time anymore.

I get really annoyed whenever I hear of guys being complete asses towards girls (especially those who are my own friends).

MERRY CHRISTMAS

While we were back in London again, we caught the musical Wicked! It was so so so so good (the vocals, the choreography, the dynamics, the settings etc) and FINALLY, I watched it live. I've been such a Wicked fan since 2008! I remember how my friends and I used to sing all the songs and simply swoon.

I quite enjoyed London (and of course, the rest of my Europe tour trip), what with visiting our relatives' cozy house with a warm fireplace which is absolutely much needed during the cold winter, having (an early) Christmas dinner, driving around in our rented car visiting my parents' schools where they took their A levels and universities which they did their degrees at in the past,

Anyway, I am now back in Singapore! After a very, very long flight. 

I need to:

1) Continue studying for LNAT which is on the 10th of January (I bought the practise books while in UK! Have I mentioned how huge Waterstone's bookstore is? I love that place, I wish they would open in Singapore! They have ALL SORTS of books there. Well kind of. I guess.) 

2) Continue working on my personal statement for UCAS 

3) Find a job (Really. And I know it's fussy but if I can I'm not going to settle for random jobs like in retail- which I've done before, previously, after my O levels 2 years ago - or an ice-cream scooper or jobs like that because I'm really hoping to be able to learn something proper, which would be useful for my future career or whatever. Or teach part-time at my alma-mater, anything! Well that's if I can find such jobs of course. Actually thinking of going back to the Legal Aid Bureau which I interned at last december during the JC Law Programme but... I don't know yet. It would be great to earn some money as well!)

4) Continue dancing so my muscles don't turn into flabs and my arms won't become flabby 

5) Follow my dad to play golf and pick up some skills

6) Finish up piano (academics and studies have always been in my way of completion so now I am going to do it right, do it fast haha) 

7) Attend my driving theory lessons (already enrolled)

It's 1.21am now and I'm not asleep, that's cause it's only evening in London! But I should really try to fall asleep~


Some pictures to colour my post:

Sunrise in Austria

Sunset in Austria

Flowers by the windowsill (Rome, Italy)

Myself & my sister on the river cruise boat (Switzerland)

All taken with my trusty iPhone camera. Isn't the sunrise and sunset beautiful? Things you can't see in cloudy, congested Singapore. I do have (A LOT) more pictures, but I'll just upload a few everyday.

EUROPE

Currently in Switzerland and it's snowing! My sisters, Jia, her sister and I went out to frolic in the snow after dinner! I guess I'll do a real travel post with pictures, captions and all when I'm back home. The interface on this blogger app isn't that great for photo-blogging so I'll just save it all till then!

On a more random note, my hair's really dry now especially in this cold and dry weather (plus I permed my hair twice). I've never really used conditioner even though my mom buys bottles of it for us cause my hair is naturally VERY straight, VERY soft and almost impossible to tangle. I can tease my hair for a whole hour (and have 3 people working on teasing my hair) + tons of hairspray but it never stays. Nor tangle. Amazing but annoying.

So now I have no choice but to lather on conditioner, and I only brought leave-in. I'm thinking of snipping away all my hair once I'm back in Singapore. I've been contemplating for an entire year ever since my sisters did, but I love my long hair so :(

Still feel the need for some change though, so maybe I'll do it.

I'm not feeling too happy right now, someone just pissed me off big time. Not going to spill even though I know I'm just talking to myself here and no one will ever read this anyway, but what's the point of the jotting down unhappiness? Move on.

I really like the quietness of this blog; of blogspot/blogger. I can just pen down random, semi-personal thoughts and ramblings of my daily life here, unlike tumblr or twitter which are both really "noisy" with everyone posting almost every second or minute.

Though twitter has been - and still is - my convenient and quick therapeutic outlet for ramblings and what-nots, I prefer the ability an actual blog can give in creating long sentences and paragraphs in proper English. Oh the beauty of language and words.

Xxx

WHEN IN ROME, DO AS THE ROMANS DO

Ciao! I am now in Rome, Italy. Will be spending 2 nights here. I feel like I'm travelling around the world cause this is such a long holiday. But, far from that of course, it's just that we usually travel for about a week or so; short holidays. Also, I miss my favourite boy :(

Thank God for free wifi, Viber (on the iPhone), and FaceTime. Praise the Lord.


 

PROM

So the 5th of November was our prom @ Meritus Mandarin, followed by our post-prom party at Zouk!! I had a blast. Prom itself was fantastic. This student council batch is really good and everything turned out to be so, so, so amazing. The DJ was très entertaining and I must say, I am very impressed. I think as compared to other schools' prom nights, ours was one of the best. So thankful!

Checked into the hotel from 2-3pm; our usual clique (LLJJIDA) shared the room but before prom Tammy came over to do makeup with me! Headed down to far east plaza (short walk from the hotel) to do our hair and our hair stylist did an amazing job! Though she appeared to be quite stressed, having to handle so many customers AND difficult customers like myself. I was quite fussy ;) 

End result: 

Photo: Courtesy of Anselm (Stole it off Facebook)

Post-prom at Zouk was... crowded. That's one word to describe it. Nothing very special, I've experienced better, so was a little disappointed. 

 My dear MX and Tammy!

And this is my class clique♥ :

 Ian Limmmm

 Smart David. Okay everybody next time when he's famous for his ingenuity, remember this photo. I AM HONOURED TO BE HIS FRIEND

 Leonard

Lynette

HandsomeAnselm hahaha

 Just look at them, aren't they sweet :) The DJ even played Wagner's Bridal Chorus (the common Wedding Song) while they strutted down the aisle. Ahhh too cute!

And we have these crazy (and fun) guys at my table:

 Aisha looking all pretty as usual! 

 Met Valen outside Zouk!

Hahaha this dirty boy (pictures below) didn't sleep nor shower nor change out of his suit the entire night, but went gallivanting around the hotel with the other guys. And when the rest of us got up at 11am +, he slept.

The guys who didn't sleep went around doing things like these:

 Snapping pictures of and disturbing us, the sleeping ones :( Yes that is my head, covered by the quilt.